Roller Derpy

A few months ago, I posted stock pics of my new roller skates, which I was most impatiently awaiting.  Darned backorders! They eventually arrived and I’ve been skating 2-3 times a week when possible. I usually go to one of the various Skateland locations since they’re relatively easy to get to from the city, but I did check out the refurbished Sportsman’s Hall with friends a few weeks ago and highly recommend that rink as well. I’m especially interested in their “Latin Skate” – salsa music at a rink? Yes, please! – but that will have to wait until I no longer have rehearsals on Sunday afternoons. (Jim and I are playing Claudius and Gertrude in Jewish Theatre Workshop’s upcoming production of “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.”)

Confession time: the leopard-print boots were a huge factor in my decision to purchase these skates. That said, they’re well-made and make me feel quite confident on the rink, although I will probably have to purchase different wheels if I want to learn fancier dance or “jam skating” moves. The standard wheels on these skates are wider than most and a bit gummy in texture, which means they’ve been great as I’ve worked on my stability and are suitable for both indoor and outdoor skating, but they may grip the rink a bit too well for certain maneuvers. Some of the advanced skaters I’ve talked to have paid up to $1400 just for the boot portions of their skates; that’s not counting “trucks” (the metal plate that the wheels and boots attach to,) wheels,  and other parts! I’m not sure I’ll ever reach a level where such fabulous gear is necessary, and besides, do the boots come in leopard print at that price point? Anyway, here are my skates.

skatesinstudio

The picture was taken in WBJC’s on-air studio, and yes, I did wear my skates for the remainder of my shift on the day they arrived. They rolled pretty well on the station’s carpet and I had perhaps a bit too much fun getting a reaction out of Jonathan (a sometime inline and ice skater himself) every time I needed to make a trip to the music library.

Taking up any sport again after a hiatus of nearly three decades is a bit intimidating, not to mention risky, which is why I titled this post “Roller Derpy.” For those who don’t follow internet slang, “derpy” means “awkward, embarrassing, or accident-prone” (thanks, Urban Dictionary!) That certainly describes my first few skating efforts this year. I wobbled like a newborn colt every time I got out onto the rink and ended up flat on my backside at least once per session. I also had trouble keeping my knees bent, which is a must if one wishes to skate well. Once I got to the point where I could stay vertical on wheels for a couple of hours, I decided to start taking skating lessons. I found a great teacher, Miss Brenda, through Skateland Orchard in Towson and am about to finish my second course with her (a third may well be in my future!) I can now do several moves that were beyond me even in my younger days, including skating backwards, a few basic dance steps, and crossing over. That last one is relatively easy in class or when I’m at a regular session that’s not too crowded, but I tend to become intimidated by it as the rink fills up and experienced skaters start zooming right by my shoulder at Mach 3.

Several people have asked if I intend to join a roller derby team, and at this point, my answer is no! I’ve seen the sport in action and  have a friend who’s played derby for years. Very exciting; I just don’t think it’s for me. A saying that’s popular among players and fans sums up my reservations nicely: “Give Blood – Play Roller Derby.” I’ll stick to regular skating, thanks!

Rolling into the New Year

When I was in junior high school, several friends and I used to go roller skating every Friday night. Despite my lack of athletic ability – I was the proverbial “last one picked” every time sports teams were chosen for PE class and a disaster at ice skating – I eventually got pretty good at going around and around the rink at The Skatium to a soundtrack of Michael Jackson, Duran Duran, Styx, and other rock/pop acts of the day.  I was confident doing the Hokey Pokey on four wheels and occasionally attempted the limbo, but I never learned how to skate backwards – well, at least not while remaining vertical.

As I moved on to high school, I found my free time devoured by chorus, the speech and debate teams, and community theater. My skates gathered dust in my parents’ basement and I believe they were sold at a yard sale after I left for college. I didn’t lace up another pair of quads (as opposed to inline skates, which I’ve never donned; they seem too close to ice skates for my comfort) until about two years ago. Having noticed a City Paper ad for a retro skating event that would benefit Moveable Feast, I convinced Jim to dress up in80’s style (it didn’t take much coaxing; three cheers for marrying a theater person!) and accompany me to Skateland North Point. The rental skates were uncomfortable, but the music provided a wonderful trip (roll?) down memory lane and the rink’s staff couldn’t have been nicer. I even won “Best 80’s Fashion”, all while supporting a great cause.

Recently, a new friend posted a Facebook status in which she mentioned plans to go roller skating on a Sunday afternoon. The urge to hit the rink again struck like a lightning bolt and I searched the internet until I could find a pair of these beauties in my size: moxi ivy skates

My friend asked me which classical pieces or cabaret-style music I’d choose for a roller skating playlist at a private party and I was completely stumped. I know rinks mostly offer current Top 40 tunes and I’m very much out of that  loop. Even the Lady Gaga songs I’ve heard of are probably considered dated now. Still, I can’t wait until my new skates arrive and I can get rolling. Maybe I’ll even learn how to skate backwards this time around!

single moxi leopard skate